Liam and Finn turn ONE!

Yep. You heard me right. We flippin' made it! We are here. We have arrived. There were so many days and nights I wondered how this milestone would feel. What would my babies look like? What would I look like? What would our home look like? It's pretty much how I figured: Babies are beautiful, I am a little ragged and a little frumpy, but hopeful, and our home is...well, right now it's a complete mess due to buying a new home, packing our old home, and two 1 year olds getting into EVERYTHING. But let's be honest, it's always a mess- sometimes complete and the rest of the time almost complete.

Liam and Finn. You are 1 year old today. I can't believe it. That guy on the plane was right- the days were loooong, but the year was short. You are such an incredible blessing. How do I put it any differently? When I look at you both, my heart smiles. Sometimes my heart has to smile because my face is working on staying awake. I have never felt more tired in my life. I have never felt more anxiety in my life. I have never felt more insignificant in my life. These are true feelings I've had over the past 12 months, but it's also completely true that I have never felt SO MUCH LOVE in my life.

You have changed our lives forever.
We will never be the same.
And we are grateful.

Liam, you are so smart. You are SO smart. You will copy almost anything we do. You LOVE music. You LOVE to dance. You LOVE to sing. You are crawling and pulling yourself up. You weigh 21 pounds. I think that has to do with you eating like a mad man. I think you've been going through a growth spurt, because it's like you're constantly hungry and will eat anything I put in front of you. You are not my picky eater right now, which kind of surprises me. You are amazing.

Finn, you are one happy baby. Seriously so happy. I swear you live off the motto "Live life to the fullest". You make me laugh and I enjoy watching you explore every inch of this house. Okay, not every inch because I don't like the idea of you getting into the toilet or eating the dead spider that's hanging by the front door (To be honest, every time I see that thing I say to myself "Go get the broom and get that thing cleaned up!" but then I say goodbye to my visitors or go pick up the mail from the mailbox or take the kids for a walk and by the time I close the door, I've completely forgotten. So there.). Finn, I hope you never lose your positive attitude. I really believe that's one of the gifts you came to this earth with. You are wonderful.

Babies, to be honest, I wish your 1st birthday was a better experience for you. Liam, you woke up from your nap today with a fever. We gave you some baby Tylenol and checked your temperature again 1 hour later and your fever had gotten worse! So, we ended up at Dr. Valentine's office and you had to get a blood test and 2 swabs in your throat. You were not happy. We think you caught what Finn had a couple days earlier, when he had to go to the doctor's office at 8:00 pm, wait for an hour to see the doctor, then get a catheter placed for a urine test. It was the WORST. I wanted to cry as I held him down and daddy and I tried to sing Primary songs. Man, being a parent is just crummy sometimes.

Even though the past couple days have been hard, you are still happy, lovely babies. And you still smile at Daddy and I, even though you feel awful. What sweet little troopers you are.

In honor of your 1st birthday, I have put together a little video:

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY MY SONS. I LOVE YOU SO INCREDIBLY MUCH. 

Love, Mama