Wednesday, August 21, 2013


There was a reunion last night. It might be the only reunion I have ever felt excited about and anxious to attend. Last night B and I took the children to LDS Hospital's Special Care Nursery reunion for patients and families. We visited with nurses and doctors who cared for our babies and met other families who had the "opportunity" to spend time there as well.

When we found a place to sit and eat some ice cream, I watched as parents approached nurses with their baby in tow and ask "Do you remember us?" I knew what those parents were thinking, because the same things were running through my head. "Do you remember us? Because we remember you. We will never forget you. You were the one that watched over our baby. You checked his stats and gave him IV's. You made sure he had the right medicine, food, and warmth. You bathed him. You changed his clothes. You held and soothed him when I couldn't be there.  You taught me how to use my body to nourish and feed my baby. You hugged me when I wept from being overwhelmed and assured me that everything would work out. You made the NICU experience manageable and almost a sacred experience. You were our baby's nurse and you will never be forgotten."

(Sarah was/is one of our favorite nurses. The SCN is EXACTLY where she belongs.)

They had a little isolette bed for parents to look at and reminisce. I got a little emotional when I went up to it and pictured my tiny preemie babies lying there under the warmer. My mind went back to the day they were born and when my L&D nurse wheeled me in to the SCN just so I could see them for the first time.

As we walked out of the hospital, I looked back and thought about how heartbroken I was the first night I had to leave without my babes. I smiled to myself as I carried my healthy, happy Finn on my hip and Liam right behind me with B. Last night, I left that hospital with full hands and a full heart.

Much thanks to LDS Hospital Special Care Nursery 

Friday, August 2, 2013

That Mom in the Mirror

We moved into our new home. It's been a crazy couple of weeks and I am tired. I am feeling lots of things, including a little anxious, lonely, and...tired. I'm pretty sure these feelings are normal when you move your family into an area where you know nobody, but only briefly introduced yourself to two neighbors and you still have boxes and boxes of stuff to put away and your kids are still trying to get back into the "groove" and you just want to sit on your couch, but you don't have a couch because you bought new couches and they won't be delivered until this afternoon.

Yet, the prayer I offered in my car, while sitting at a stoplight yesterday, didn't have to do with any of these things. Instead, my short discussion with the Lord during a "routine" grocery trip centered on the woman I saw in the mirror just minutes earlier before departing from my new house. Just like many mornings, that woman had woken up, fed the children breakfast, cleaned the children from breakfast, fed herself breakfast, changed two poopy diapers, rocked two fussy babies, put those babies down for a nap, jumped in the shower, put on some lounge clothes, pulled her hair in a bun, and threw a hat on over it. When she looked at herself...really looked at herself, she cringed at the frumps, lumps, and bumps.

Tell me mamas, does this sound familiar? Am I the only one with a sweet elderly neighbor who comes over to visit and remarks "Megan, I didn't know what to think when I saw you that one Sunday with your hair down and make-up on. I thought to myself 'Wow, she's actually pretty.'"? Is there anyone out there who puts their cute top and jeans on, only to take them off an hour later because: A) It's more comfortable chasing babies around the house, picking up laundry, or wiping the floor B) It only takes an hour for juice, sticky peanut butter, and/or poop to become an accessory on said cute top and jeans C) Cute top and jeans don't fit well over that soft, delicious middle you've been "building" up?

Sitting at the stoplight, I turned my music down and I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes and I placed my forehead in my hand. The words came out loud "Man, I'm feeling so worthless." Frustrated, but momentarily distracted with the task(s) at hand, I forgot about this little prayer until 9:30 that evening when I read THIS. I even read it aloud to B.

I woke up this morning and looked at that mom in the mirror again. And a little bit of warmth filled my heart when I glanced over those frumps, lumps, and bumps...

Feeling grateful and empowered today. 

*Got our summer family pictures back. They turned out lovely.