It's been a long time. Almost 2 months in fact. So what have I been doing that has taken up so much valuable time-time, obviously too valuable to be interrupted by blog posts about my rather simple life? Let's see, 3 classes/2 labs, chemistry, full-time employment, chemistry, church calling, chemistry, new korean roommate, chemistry, new *signifcant other*, chemistry, doctor visits and hospital testing, chemistry . . .wait, there's something I'm missing . . .Oh yeah! CHEMISTRY!!! A lot has actually happened in the last little while, with a lot of personal milestones made. So, tell me this: Why is chemistry at the forefront of any memory made in the past 2 months and why is it blocking out any goodness or joy felt from any other accomplishment I have made during this same period of time??
I feel no remorse or guilt when I state: I hate chemistry. I am not good at. I do not like it. It does nothing for me except make me more ill, frustrated, and feel like destroying things . . . like my chemistry book, which is followed by more frustration because I can't destroy it because I refuse to NOT get bookstore refunded for that piece of junk, which is followed by guilt because the information in that book is not junk but fundamental building blocks of the universe, which is followed by feelings of inadequacy for not understanding those fundamentals, which is followed by "WHY? WHY DON'T I UNDERSTAND?", which is followed by . . .well, we could play this game all night (but we can't because it will take up valuable time that could be spent studying CHEMISTRY).
Okay, "for reals", (Whit and I always used this phrase when we were kids. "No Whit, for reals this time. No, I mean for reals. Hey, I'm playing for reals.") But really. . .for reals. . . I knew going into this class that it would not be an easy run. I knew it was going to be extra challenging because I, in fact, have never EVER taken a chemistry class in my whole educational career, except a few concepts in elementary school and Mr. Browning's class in 9th grade (and that's another joke I will tell at a later period . . .) I also knew that working full time would limit the amount of time I had to obtain indepth study of this wonderful subject, and that with the addition of a "someone special", my interests would be further deterred from electrons and protons in order to make my own "ionic bonding" ;) Let's add a calling as relief society instructor, a girl named Soo Jean, and a whole bunch of CRAZY (family & friends) . . .yeah, I knew this wasn't gonna be no cake walk.
What I didn't expect: the last 4 weeks meeting with doctors, EGD's, HIDA scans, ultrasounds, more doctors, blood work and possible surgery and biopsies. Yeah, didn't see that coming. Neither did chemistry. As pain increased on my right side, so did my doctors' interests. Working in the healthcare field, I know that everything's a process. Being the patient, I have a greater understanding how frustrating that process can be when sitting on the other side. To make a long story short: met with gastroenterologist, got an EGD, got an ultrasound and HIDA scan, met with doctor, got some bloodwork, recieved a surgeon's number, still waiting to hear from doctor. Right now: Ulcers all the way down my esophagus and small intestine. Gallbladder is working at 25% (lowest normal is 35%) and doctor feels it "probably" is the cause of my pain, but she also is concerned about ultrasound finding of fatty liver. What I understand is that when there is fat in the liver, it can just be a benign process, or it can cause scar tissue which can lead to cirrhosis. (don't have to be a drinker to have liver damage I guess) So . . .why not take a biopsy of the liver while someone's in there taking my gallbaldder out? No surgery has been set yet, just possibilities. (za plot zickens . . . all my blood tests came back normal. What???)
Although this news has been a little disappointing and unwelcome, I have been open to a greater understanding of the importance of nutrition and healthy living. I have set a goal for myself. Any ideas or tips on how to eat healthy and nutritious while "living in the fast lane" are welcome. Life gets pretty hectic as I rush from class to work, back to class, then home, etc. By the end of the day I am exhausted and tired. Any recommendations?