Wednesday, February 20, 2013

7 months old and a lot to show for it.

Liam. Finn. You are 7 months old right now and, boy, you have a lot to show for it! You are rolling over. You are eating crackers. You are sitting up (almost). You are grabbing your toes. When I come get you from your naps, you are never in the same place I left you. You have started this weird screaming language with each other, which is pretty cute most of the time. Finn, you think I'm pretty funny. Liam, you think I'm more funny. You both like to stand on your legs. Busy Finn. Studious Liam. You are both inquisitive of this world around you.

You are both getting bottom teeth...I think the ONLY thing that's happened at the same time in your development. Except for getting helmets. You got your helmets at the same time as well. And for the first couple of days, it was a little hard. But now, you seem to be accustomed to those large, annoying things on your heads. Mom and dad are too...except that your heads smell terrible when we take your helmets off for an hour every day. Dad doesn't think it's too bad. I think it's awful. Don't worry, in 3 months you will have beautiful, round heads that smell nice.

Man, I love you guys so much. You are a lot of work, but completely worth it. Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed with the unbelievable amount of laundry, poopy diapers, messy, crying faces, and increasing food budget, I think about my life without you and my heart breaks. You were meant for me and I was meant for you. Our little family is lovely.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A little letter to remind you I still love you.

Sleep. No sleep. Sleep. No sleep. Sleep. No sleep... It's a gamble lately. 
And gambling sleep makes an unhappy mama. Which makes an unhappy daddy. 
Which makes easy things become difficult and difficult things become impossible. 
And it comes to a head when tired, grumpy mama and daddy try communicating at the end of the day and daddy ends up falling asleep while mama expresses her feelings. Wow. 

So, while contemplating this situation after B leaves this morning, 
I happen upon this:
And I write a letter to my love:

I'm sorry I was kind of unhappy yesterday...and last week...and the
past few months. Life is hard right now for both of us. We each have
our own personal struggles and we have our struggles together as a
couple and as parents. I realize today that I want to be the person
you can turn to and rely on for comfort and unconditional love. I
haven't been a great example of that love and I'm sorry. I'm sorry
that it seems I have a grocery list of "don'ts" every time we talk. I
let things build and build and then it all comes spewing out like a
fire hydrant and you get blasted in the face. You make me happy,
Brandon. You really do. You are doing a good job at this husband/dad
thing. I know it's not easy. I get that. I really get that. And when
our babies don't sleep well during the night, it's really REALLY hard
to be positive, upbeat, forgiving, and kind. Sleep is good for our
health. Period. And we aren't getting a lot lately (Sleep, that is.;) ).

I love you B. I really, really love you. And my goal is to spend more
time worrying about things that DO matter and let go of things that
aren't worth my energy.

With all my heart,

1 minute later, I get this response:

Thank you, my love!

Life is difficult for us right now, but in many ways we have it pretty good. We have healthy children, a warm place to sleep, enough money for our needs, and, most of all, we have each other.

I love you,

Happy Valentines to all my tired mamas and daddy's. May you "get some" this Thursday...including sleep. It's a fine line these days. 

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Grandma Videos

I cleaned off my mom's SD card yesterday and found some sweet videos. 
I loved to see what she thought was important enough to capture: 
Laughter, first foods, dancing, and discovery of this world.
To her, this is what is important. This is what matters.
Here's a little compilation of Grandma's videos: